January 2012
walking into a white girl at school
me: sorry
her: omg it's ok don't worry things happen
walking into a black girl at school
me: sorry
her: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING I WENT THROUGH FUCKIN SLAVERY I DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT FUCKIN WHITE PEOPLE WHAT THE FUCK BITCH HOE NIGGA
...this happens with the white girls tooo
December 2011
Me: My computer was hacked
David Karp: It was missing e
Me: I'm depressed
David Karp: Must be missing e
Me: I'm pregnant
David Karp: It's missing e
Me: I'm dead
David Karp: missing e
when something makes me happy: omg
when something makes me sad: omg
when something surprises me: omg
when something makes me mad: omg
when exclaiming something to my god: omg
omg: omg
we'd probably liveblog the end of the world
omg earthquake!!!!
flood is coming!!
omg water is in my house
nO NOT MY COMPUter
it's ok i have service on my phone guys
OMG MY SISTER IS DROWnING
aw a fireman is here
he's giving my sister mouth 2 mouth
i ship it omg
otp; i know how to save a life
whoa the earth is like breaking open
byE
new years: blogging
christmas: blogging
birthday: blogging
natural disaster: blogging
meeting band guys: blogging about meeting band guys
house fire: blogging about having to save the computer
funeral: blogging
I say the stupidest things when I just wake up
MOM: WAKE UP IT’S 2:30 IN THE AFTERNOON SAJDNASKFLKFDFGKLDFKG ME: I didn’t know that…
band member: hey what can i sign for you
me: just this piece of paper here please
band member: ok cool
**signs**
me: thanks
band member: wait was that an adoption paper
me: no BYE
band member: WAIT
me: NO
band member: SECURITY
me: BYE
How teens and adults text:
Expectations:
Teens - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
Adults - What are you doing today? Want to hang out?
Reality:
Teens - Hey! What you doing today? Want to hang out?
Adults - wut es up! wut r u doing 2day? want 2 go & do sum stuff
friend: i got an A on my calculus test
friend: i got a hot boyfriend
friend: i had so much fun partying this weekend
me: one time i got four notes on a text post i made
I'M WATCHING YOU
mystinkybutt:
1 tag
1612th:
that guy from lmfao is 37
worst midlife crisis ever
mashedbrotatoes:
good things about 2011
368 dollars later...
I’m back from the mall
walks into chair
me: sorry
chair:
my otp: breathes in the same room
me: holy shit
me: oh my god
me: oh my fucking god
me: oh my god they're sharing the same air
me: they're so in lov-- OH M YGOD THEY LOOKED AT EACH oOTHER
me: IM GONNA DIE
me: I CANT LIVE
me: i love you
nickelodeon: I have an idea
world: YOU'LL RELEASE KORRA
nickelodeon: what if we released
world: KORRA
nickelodeon: house of anubis 3
world: FUCK
nickelodeon: do you like my idea
When someone reminds the teacher there was... →
funniest10k:
Me:
Comment battle!
thefrogman:
Mariano’s Graph
The battle rages on.
my niece is watching dragon ball z
my dad: what's that called? hentai?
me: umm...no, that's anime.
my dad: oh, then what's hentai?
me:
my dad:
me:
my dad:
me:
When you're asked to babysit small children...